Bullying
My name is Monika Torma and I was a victim of bullying. I want to take a moment and speak to everyone about bullying. Primarily I want to address the bullied. I know as a victim of bullying how it affects our lives and what a toll it takes on our confidence and many other aspects of our personalities and behaviors. We, as the bullied, need to stand united and understand hurt people hurt and realize this is not our story!
I wish when I was young someone had taken the time to sit me down about this specific topic because I always felt when these words were being thrown at me, it was my true identity. As I know many of you do now. The first image is a depiction of some of the words I would hear often and I believed them. As I aged and started to understand why bullies behave the way that they do, it was easier to change my perspective and put those words behind me. Which is my wish for you, that you may be able to take those unkind words and put them behind you. You are what is important here and this is my message.
Now take the words in the second image and empower yourself because it is okay to have a healthy sense of self no matter what another person may say or think. It is okay to enjoy your life even if it does not fit into what society has deemed is acceptable. It is okay to be unique! It is okay to be you! This is the time to empower yourself and each other! Our life is ours and we do have the right to be our authentic selves and recognize that they are doing the best that they know how. When another person is bullying you, trust me when I say it is truly how they feel about themselves. Sometimes I would imagine holding up a mirror as someone is yelling or criticizing me and I could see how they truly felt about themselves and I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Now is the time to take our power back, to look at them with eyes wide open and forgive. Yes, forgive! Many times I have been told are you crazy, forgive? Then, interestingly enough, when a person has had time to look at the situation from a calmer perspective they come back to me and say, “Wow, now I get it”. Forgiveness is only for us and although it is hard to hear when emotions are running amuck it truly can bring peace to us without holding on to anger, shame and sense of self-loathing. The worst thing that can happen here is that we too become them and then we continue the circle and start devouring ourselves. Look, we are all human and we will make mistakes but now is the time for us to make our own choices and please do not let them devour the beautiful person you were meant to be.
Let us band together and empower ourselves and each other one step at a time. Come take my hand and join me to stop this together. See the bullies for who they are and do everything in your power to not become them because that is what they want. Say something! Do something! Talk to someone you trust. Never feel alone because you are not. Words DO have power and do not allow yourself to become your own bully. Always realize and recognize we do have the power and a change needs to occur. Let us begin!
Be Heart!
Monika Torma